Anxious @@

The exam is just around the corner,
everybody should felt nervous,scared or exciting?
I must said I din"t felt a thing,
I'm just very confuse about how to be a LEADER,
I know that being a LEADER is not a easy job,
but when the ex-co scold me,
I just like,
"WHAT, what do you expect?"
A perfect one or just a BARBIE?
I really don"t know what wrong with me!!!
Why she can done it but I can't?
It's the way I walk,
The way I speak,
or my attitude?
This is just the problem I'm suffering on,
I trying again and again to outsmart this problem,
But in the eye's of her,
I just never tried hard enough rite?
I know it's disappointing to both me and her,
But I've tried as hard as I could,
I hope I can change myself and also change the last thought of her,
I here promise that I'll do it before you leave,
Honestly...I hope
In the other case,
I don't have the mooooood to study,
I'm so going to dead at this kind of situation,
Even thought that everybody keep giving me pressure to kept study study and study,
but I just felt nothing,
nothing at at,
I hate it,
I really want some motif to get to study again,
Agggggrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Irritated

Have you ever felt like,
"Hey I want that also",
but you can"t buy it after a long search?
I meant like SOLD OUT?
What The?
That feels totally not good,
I even hate this kind of situation happen on myself,
How can  it be truth?
It's like the god is playing a game with you,
when you want the book,
the book is SOLD OUT,
but when you don"t want the book,
there's always everywhere you can see,
Seriously?
If this is a game,
I'll be mad,
but sadly it's not  and also it's my life,
This just make me grumpy,
have no feel to do revision on that subject,
Hey?I'm a easily disturb girl,
I can't do revision when I din't have the book,condition,or even the room,
It's not my fault to be like this,
I HATE IT.

Leader?

Oh now after I'm crazy,
I have to be a leader?
I can't play anymore in the school,in the class,in front of the student,
So what still I can do?
Who can teach me now?
I really don't know,
I know that I'm childish,
I'm stupid,I'm crazy and I'm can't speak,
Other than being a leader now,I need 2 be a M.C.
Oh,there just so many problem problem problems,
So I got to face everything by myself now,
because no one can help me......
I'm frustrated,
Can anyone give me some idea???
Alright,
I know I'm a failure,
I can't do anything,I wish I could,but I just can't,
I told myself I can't be despise by other,
I must get 7A in my exam,
I tried to study hard,
Everything just makes me felt down,
I don't feel like doing anything,
just sleep and watch tv,
I can't fight for my target,
I just can't,
and now other than studies,
I need 2 be a good leader of a group?society?or Kadet?
Funny right?
a 15 years old take over a group,
Yup...I also think it's funny,
I rather that I'm not the 1,
No need to take care of every thing and become like a mad girl
SO WHAT?
WHO CARES?
I KNOW NOBODY CARES,
Fine that's it,
I'm done here.

Lost

Something is just so not right here,
I'm depressed,I'm sad,I'm lonely,
I can't even felt my heart beat,
I'm totally lost,
I can spend 3/4 of my time sleeping and the other 1/4 watching TV,
And don't even felt that my life is boring,
I don't know what to said,what to do,
I can't even focus  to study for my PMR exam that will be held about 1 month after,
I'm CRAZY,
I talk to my dog,
I walk alone and start singing my own song,
Oh come on?
What is wrong about me?
Am I alright?
Oh god bless me,
First, I'm ugly,
Second, I'm crazy,
Third, I'm Stupid,
Fine, everything just land on me,
How can I do this?
How can I cure myself?
Do I need a mental doctor?
Or should I said AM I CRAZY?
Fine I admit it,
I felt like all my friends don't like me,
So what I'm not good enough,
Everyone have defect,
It's not just me that is not perfect,
I felt like I'm losing myself,
I don't even know are I still the same?
I'm sad when they said all my bad things out,
Although it's the truth,
And I'm always saying I'm alright,I'm fine,
Or sometimes I'm uninvited,
I'll just said I'm better without it,just go by yourself,
but in the heart I'm sad,
I cry in my bed at night,
I even can't sleep while I think about how stupid I am,
All the things I have done,
I hoped my life is more awesome than others,
but I'm just a normal girl that everybody forget,
Just face it,
You are not getting the life you want,
JUST FACE IT,
YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE WORLD TO CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOU,
YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!